I need more coffee.) Perceptions surrounding it are so disparate that it seems odd to me that it could've sprung from a single place and resulted in such a controversial interpretation. (Or a mad-libs fill-in-the-blank group of your choice uses it in another.

Certain gaming groups used it one way, certain fannish groups used it another, certain academic groups used it another. My anecdotal experience is so far from 'butthurt' as 'totally dominated', let alone 'totally dominated in a rapey way', that I actually wonder if the term sprung up in multiple groups around the same time. I struggle with the idea that because a word evokes a specific negative interpretation for a subset of people, we shouldn't use it. I didn't use the word before, but honestly if I did, I wouldn't be swayed to not use it because you misunderstood it. There's no absolute right to avoid being inadvertently offended by words that are not founded in the offense imagined. So what does it mean? Where does it come from? Know Your Meme seems to believe it comes from the 90s and was a metaphor to being spanked as a child.

It really does matter what the word means. Otherwise we get things like people being upset because someone somewhere used the word 'niggardly' to mean stingy even though it has nothing to do with the 'other' n-word. I agree that being sensitive is generally a good goal, but there is a line somewhere. Not using these words and phrases in a public forum is just about being considerate towards other people. What matters is that certain words and phrases cause emotional responses or mental imagery that some people find distressing.

As always, it's not really about the etymology - that's a separate conversation.

So much butthurt meme